Epilogue, 4 March 2014

Tomorrow marks my one month anniversary of being home.

Honestly? It feels like I crawled out of Narnia and while I have lived an entire lifetime, the people around me are going along at their own pace, not realizing what has happened. So to be honest, this last month has been harder than any month on my mission. Not only have I had to redefine my life, but also all of my relationships, including my relationship with God and myself. It has been a really hard transition and I have struggled. A LOT.

That being said, I've experienced some of the sweetest moments of my life as well.

Reuniting with these folks.

And this sweet girl.

And the best family that ever lived :)

And a sister I formed a newfound friendship with on my mission

And these kids.

It's been very, very bittersweet. And for a lot of it I have fallen into a pretty severe depression, feeling lost, feeling like I'm floating, feeling like I'm without a purpose. I have some pretty incredible friends and family who have done their best to help me, but in those moments by myself, I have felt utterly and completly useless.

Until yesterday.

Now, 2 day ago I was hanging out with Ty Virgin and helping with some homework. It took longer than we expected, and so I ended up staying for dinner and their Family Home Evening. It's been a VERY long time since I've been to one of those as not a missionary. But his dad started talking about service and how it makes us happy because it makes God happy. I knew that, but I kind of brushed it off and politely kept listening and then we went back downstairs and finished the homework and watched a movie and I went home.

Yesterday, incidentally, is one of the first days I've actually sat down to really STUDY the scriptures since being home. I've read them every day, but Satan's pretty good at distracting me. But as I prayed and opened my scriptures, I began to realize how unhappy I was and how it wasn't anyone's fault but mine. And in that moment, the Spirit helped me realize why: I wasn't serving anyone anymore! Ty's Dad was SO Spirit-led. The last month has been entirely focused on me. On what I wanted, on what I thought about myself. And so I decided that I want to change the world. And in so doing I knew that I would be happy.

No, not world domination. All I am deciding to do (and this is where yall come in) is do and say one nice thing to two different people every day. Two little acts of kindness. And in doing, I know that I can be happy again. In fact, I already am :) By just having that simple purpose--to make someone elses day better--I am happy. And it is SO FREEING!! Being miserable stinks! But something I learned on my mission is that if I'm going to be happy, I have to turn outside of myself and help someone else. That is what Christ did and in my opinon, Christ was the happiest person who ever walked the planet. Because He was the most focused on serving others. 

SO! I am inviting you to join me. Everyone can stand to be a little happier :) Every day, do and say one nice thing to someone else. Be on the lookout for those who need your help. God answers prayers through others, so if you involve Him in your journey, He will lead you to those who need YOU at this very moment. Then in the evening, write them down! And invite others to participate. With those two small acts a day, we can change the world :)

Now, most of yall serve people on a daily basis. Countless moms and dads and siblings and people who just serve because it's a part of them, second nature, service to yall is as unconscious as breathing. So look for something out of your way to do. I'm not saying it has to be a grand guesture. But look for someone you don't normally serve! Let the other customer go first at the grocery store. Let that car in that is trying to exit but got in the wrong lane. Hold a door for someone. Sincerly compliment someone out of the blue. Simply DON'T say something mean to someone! The opportunities for simple service are endless, but they might change someone's world. And who knows? One day maybe you'll need that kindness back to you.

I hope you will join me. I know that as you do (and as I do) that the happiness and love you will feel will grow. Because "when ye are in the service of your fellow beings, ye are only in the service of your God." So can we change the world?

Love,

Cass